re-reading the time traveller's wife by audrey niffenegger, and sobbing uncontrollably through the final chapters. never have i read a book that has described such a perfect, epic romance in such tangible detail that it would make you long for it in your own life, only to then shatter it with the complications that make it so epic and able to stand the test of time and span its lengths.
an excerpt from henry's final letter to clare, after his death.
Clare, I want to tell you again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only thing in this strange life of mine I could ever trust. Tonight I feel my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself; as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you.
I hate to think of you waiting. I know that you have been waiting for me all your life, always uncertain of how long this patch of waiting would be. Ten minutes, ten days. A month. What an uncertain husband I have been, Clare, like a sailor, Odysseus alone and buffeted by tall waves, sometime wily and sometimes just a plaything of the gods.
If I had to live on without you I know I could not do it. But I hope, I have this vision of you walking unencumbered, with your shining hair in the sun. I have not seen this with my eyes, but only with my imagination, that makes pictures, that always wanted to paint you, shining; but I hope that this vision will be true anyways.
We will see each other again, Clare. Until then, live, fully, present in the world, which is so beautiful.
It’s dark, now, and I am very tired. I love you always. Time is nothing.
Henry
it seems so strange to imagine going on without someone you love, even though people do it every day, i suppose. we exist in the present and go about our daily routines that in the future, will be reduced to nothing more than memories. and while we may be co-existing with someone now, it may not always be that way. someone you are inseparable with now may go on to lead a completely different life, in which you are not included. so strange to think how fleeting we are.
and yet, so inspiring to think that we can create a love which may outlast our own transient existences.
hm. deep thoughts for a tuesday evening. i have a creative itch that must be bubbling.
seriously; read this book before the movie comes out and reduces it to watery mainstream crap.
i feel as though i've just had an emotional purge.
xo
